Why Somatic Sessions Aren't Always About Going Deep

Maybe because I carried a lot of sadness with me since I was a child, and in my own somatic process I had to meet a deep well of grief over and over again, I always assumed I’d be the serious kind of practitioner. That every session would be a deep dive into loss, unworthiness, and the heavier territories of being human.

What I’ve found instead is how often I laugh during sessions. How often it’s joy, wildness, passion, and energy that come through, in my client, in me, in the connection between us. The Pantarei Approach honors the flow, which means I go deep when that’s where the client is headed, but it also means that when humor, determination, or tenderness suddenly surfaces, I make space for that too. Often this is a form of resourcing. A client might have just been in touch with deep grief, but if I sense the psychoemotional space has shifted, I honor that turn by naming it, inviting them to also feel the spark of joy or the thread of strength that has entered the room alongside the pain.

Maybe we are revisiting older hurts from childhood, perhaps a client who was punished for expressing their most silly, wildest side, and in going back there, we come into contact with her again, that fiery ball of energy that was always there alongside the wound.

I think about this a lot: that at the root of any emotion, if you go deep enough, you might find its opposite waiting there. Or perhaps emotions don’t sit in opposition at all, but side by side, holding one another. In touching grief fully enough, you find your way back to love. In meeting the wound of separation, you come into connection.

Part of the beauty of being alive is recognizing this multiplicity. That we can be our history, carry our grief, and still find joy in seemingly impossible places.